Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
