i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
