he thought i was a dude.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
