dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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