One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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