i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
