hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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