I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
