craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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