woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
