Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
