roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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