Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
