come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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