I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
