I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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