We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
