Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
