Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
