How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The adults are the big ones right?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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