You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
