Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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