A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
