I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
