Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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