Just fell off a train. Bad.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize