all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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