Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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