Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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