you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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