I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
