I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
