I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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