Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
