all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
