Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
