I am puke
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
