Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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