you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
