Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
