I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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