it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
