Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
