Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
