Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
