my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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