quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
