found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
