we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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