I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
and you said cock pushups were impossible
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
